With apologies to Walt Whitman:


Ah pomegranates, wombats, and silly rackets,
Ah you frumps that in cornflakes have overdosed me,
(For what is my lump or any mule’s lump but a cornflake with frumps, the ode, the impatient wart?)
You doppelgangers, you twitter with parsnips and astronauts,
You sacks from doodlebug fellatios, (ah willies the shape-shifted of all,)
You tail of powdered and chalked artichokes, you mammoths,
You shopping trolley-takers at Tescos, (my trolley the shoplifted of any,)
You brazen rhinoceros, you retching anchors, you smooched emus!
Ah thwack not your fiscal tripsticks, my real squeal has not yet cut fur,
It shall yet munch frogs obstreperous, till all laughs banana me,
It shall yet strap up the soliloquy of uncomfortable vasectomy.